Welcome back to Part 8 of the Vegas Guy Seduction Series. In this article, I am going to start talking about one of the Four Pillars of Mastery, which is CONNECTION (EMPATHY). This is the missing link for so many guys in their ability to attract and keep women.
If you are just tuning in now, please read Parts 1-7 before you read this article. You can find them here:
Part 1: Eye contact and initial approach
Part 2: Overcoming obstacles
Part 3: How to isolate the girl
Part 4: How to pull the girl
Part 5: How to escalate sexually
Part 6: How to end the encounter so she wants to see you again
Part 7: How to continue leading and deepening after the first encounter
If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you have heard me speak before about something called EMPATHY. Often I use the term Non-Violent Communication or NVC.
Perhaps this didn’t sound like the most glamorous part of seduction, and perhaps you thought I was just giving you the “girl” perspective that’s not really “how it works.” That’s why, later in this article, I’m going to share with you what Vegas Guy himself told me about how he seduces women …
But first, let’s make sure we are on the same page … what is empathy anyway?
From my perspective, it means “tuning in” to an emotional frequency where all living creatures are connected. This may sound a little “woo woo,” but it really isn’t. It literally is training yourself to tune in to this frequency just like you would a radio station, and when you are tuned into it, you can literally feel what other people are feeling … when you get advanced with this … this is what is called Being an Empath.
To break it down a little more, here is a definition that I like from the official Non-Violent Communication website:
With NVC we learn to hear our own deeper needs and those of others. Through its emphasis on deep listening—to ourselves as well as others—NVC helps us discover the depth of our own compassion. This language reveals the awareness that all human beings are only trying to honor universal values and needs, every minute, every day.
NVC can be seen as both a spiritual practice that helps us see our common humanity, using our power in a way that honors everyone’s needs, and a concrete set of skills which help us create life-serving families and communities.
The form is simple, yet powerfully transformative.
4 Steps of NVC:
1. Observations
2. Feelings
3. Needs
4. Requests
Through the practice of NVC, we can learn to clarify what we are observing, what emotions we are feeling, what values we want to live by, and what we want to ask of ourselves and others. We will no longer need to use the language of blame, judgment or domination. We can experience the deep pleasure of contributing to each others’ well being.
Now here’s the thing: So often when I work with my male clients one-on-one or at conferences where I am a speaker, guys tell me they are trying to “figure out” the seduction thing. What should they do? What should they say? As if there is some magic bullet of words or deeds that is going to “solve” this problem for them …
And there isn’t. What will solve this problem for you is NOT your logical mind. In fact, it’s because these guys are stuck in their logical minds that they are not having success with women.
What WILL solve this problem for you are the FOUR PILLARS OF MASTERY, which I talked about in my speech at the 21 Convention. One of those four pillars, and you will never become a master without it, is EMPATHY/CONNECTION.
Well, I can tell you about this all day long, but you may not really believe that Masters of Seduction are actually using it. Maybe it sounds like I’m talking about “feminine intuition,” etc. etc.
Not so.
Now, I had never told Vegas Guy my take on seduction. But after he seduced me the night I told you about in parts 1 to 7 of this Series, I had to know …
What was his perspective on what he was doing? He obviously was no newcomer to seduction, because a guy does not develop that level of mastery out of nowhere …
(Yeah, he’s not a newcomer, it turns out he has hooked up with at least 1000 women, but I digress … 
So this is what I learned:
Vegas Guy doesn’t call it “pickup.” He calls it “glamouring a woman,” as in, what Vampires do, lol
Of course I was very intrigued what he meant by “glamouring,” so I asked him.
He said: “Putting each woman in that place of euphoria and safety.”
Notice how those are not “logical” words. He’s not applying a technique or strategy. He’s not “figuring it out.” He’s finding an EMOTIONAL SPACE with a woman.
I asked him how he does that, and he responded:
“Glamouring is defined differently for each person. It’s like sensing what their needs are and meeting them.”
Wow, NOTICE how close what he said is to the NVC definition of empathy that I quoted above. “We learn to hear our own deeper needs and those of others.”
Eureka! Lol Really, guys, if you skip this step — and most pickup teaching does skip this step — there is NO WAY you are going to be able to get the consistent results that Vegas Guy gets.
Now, you may be curious then, as I was, what need Vegas Guy saw in me that he stepped up and met that night. And I asked him that.
He said:
“You didn’t really have a need. Your desire not expecting it to be met was to be fascinated by someone which is what it would take for you to be swept off your feet.”
Bingo. Right on the money
[...] I’m usually going to glam up more. Actually, the night I met Vegas Guy, for example (read the Vegas Guy Seduction series here), I was wearing a lingerie top, tight skirt, red leather jacket (tailored but not tight), and a [...]
Erika I must commend you on your work.
You have chosen a mammoth task really, to teach men to live life OUT of our logical minds.
One would say this would be a near impossible feat, but One Step at a time (kinda like your series of blogs
) would do the trick I bet.
*hardy applause*
I remember a public event that practiced EFT at for the first (and last) where I felt an incredible sadness in myself while talking to one of my ‘customers’, I guess you could call it, and I could not understand at all where it was coming from. I told the person about him and asked him if he was sad about anything. It turned out to be that he was going through a divorce with his pregnant wife, and somehow I picked up on it. That was the first and last time I had such a strong foreign emotion. I have NO idea how to recreate that
[...] so much for all the great feedback on the recent blog posts (especially the Vegas Guy Seduction Series), I really appreciate it and I invite you to continue sharing your thoughts in the comments section [...]
Hey Jacques,
Welcome to the blog, and thanks for your comment … yes, so your experience shows you DO already have that empathic power, it’s just a matter of making that power more consciously available.
And yes, reading my posts is helpful. Far more helpful though is doing Skype sessions with me (from anywhere in the world !) … I help people get back in touch with their natural superpowers
[...] the Vegas Guy Seduction Series (make sure to catch up by going here before reading this new series), I explained step by step how Vegas Guy seduced me and had me back [...]
It’s a great article that you’ve posted on the Vegas Guy series. You’ve been really open and honest about your feelings on this event. But there’s something that I’m rather curious about. The Vegas guy seems to be a very nice guy, but how did u exactly feel when you know you are like the 1001 girl that he had hooked? I though all girls like to be that only special girl for a man. And how can you feel secure with a man who is so charismatic and attactive, and needless to say, a master in seduction?
Hi Sky,
Thanks so much for your comment and for the great questions … lol, I felt turned on when he told me he’d been with 1000 women … I’m not interested in being “special” … I’m interested in being with a guy who is equal in his masculine power as I am in my feminine power … and my security comes from my inner strength (knowing I’ll be happy with or without him) and from my confidence … I am exactly the woman a master in seduction would marry, because he will feel my strength matches his. My intense feminine polarity plays with his intense masculine polarity and creates insanely high levels of chemistry and sexual tension. And he will feel understood rather than judged by me, because I am not threatened by his strength. We are mirrors of each other. Make sense?
Jaques,
The more grounded and present in your body you can be, the cleaner your vibe will be, the more masculinity you will express, and the more women will be attracted to you. Erika is very good at clearing out peoples’ vibes.
Consider the hunter/gatherer society. The men hunted animals. How could a hunter possibly know where to look for that bison? He only had maybe some tracks in the ground, the natural odors carried on the wind, reported last sightings, etc. He had to decide where to go using his intuition, aka his gut, or his hunch. You cannot access that information unless you access your whole body and soul as a unit. Clearly he must have been successful at it because you and I are here!
This is a worthy and life changing pursuit. I encourage you to take it on.
Hi Erika,
Thanks for your reply. It is indeed insightful. His level of confidence vibrates at the same level as yours and both of you picked it up… Where else an insecured man will pick up the insecurity of a girl…
It does make sense
WOW! Nice reply to Sky…Hail Goddess <3
Erika,
Re: you reply to sky. I think you are spot on. In my experience, feminine women are quite attracted to masculine men and masculine men often have long track records.
What are your thoughts on monogamy today? I remember you views shifted and monogamy (for another person, not yourself)is about being “special”.
I also wonder if 1000 women is a reasonable figure. Even at 2 women/week, this would take 10 years. Pick-up takes little time, but good seduction is slow and takes time. And seriously, don’t people lose count after 20-30 partners?
[...] full, Vegas Guy and I are talking about getting married and starting a whole new life together (if you’re curious how he and I met, you can read the whole series here, and I told my supervisor at work that I’m planning to quit my day job. PUA Summit is coming [...]
[...] him from the seduction series I wrote last summer … if you missed it, make sure to catch up by clicking here.) As to whether this miracle means that he is, in fact, my life partner, stay tuned [...]